faunalia (faunalia) wrote,


Today is Kate's funeral.

I'm glad that M is going - I wish R and I could be there too - we will be in our thoughts.

I've had so many thoughts and memories wash through me as I try to understand that yes, this IS real, this has happened.

I have so many good memories of her, so many pleasant visits and conversations that surprised me because I never thought myself much like her, and yet she seemed to understand, and support, and I rarely felt judged.

I was always worried about her in the struggling student days. I was so thrilled to see her as a wife and then a mother - it seemed to suit her in a way i could not have imagined. I am so sorry that she did not have more time to enjoy that phase of life, and even more so for her son and husband since they will have to go on without her.

I will try to write down some of my best memories for E and D before they get too faded.

It is difficult to accept that she will not be a part (except of course in that she is now a part of all of us) of celebrations and lives to come.

Dark blue velvet thrifted coat
wispy tangled hair
blond strands
in fierce blue eyes

Lentil soup, garlic
and strong black coffee
fizzy water
hard buttered bread

On the beach
in the afternoon
teenage chatter
feminist meanderings on men and women

a later day, another beach
in bathing suits
holding Ernest, one hand each
laughing in the late afternoon sun.
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